Fueled by Love: Unexpectedly Finding Your Courage

Welcome back to my summer series on courage, where we dive a little deeper into the ways everyday courage shapes our lives. 

This month I’m sharing insights from Pam Pacilli Cooper, president of Verissima Productions, an award-winning media company that has produced over seventy films and books for individuals, families, and nonprofits, as well as documentaries for public broadcast. She uses her experience as a family systems therapist, researcher, and oral historian to create stories that will benefit future generations. She and her partner, Rob Cooper, are celebrating their twenty-fifth year in business.  

To listen to Doris’ interview with Pam, click here

Pam, a dear friend and colleague, has always been a source of inspiration. For the past couple of years, we meet occasionally to have ‘hallway chats’ — discussions revolving around rethinking our practices, exploring creative interests, and contributing to the world as we transition into the next stages of our lives. These conversations have nudged us towards courageous steps in our personal and professional journeys.

Courage Fueled by Love

In her interview, Pam shares a beautiful insight: Courage isn’t always about grand heroic acts; it’s about being present during the tough moments in everyday life. It’s about being there, fully present, because your love for the person fuels your courage. Pam’s perspective on courage is both profound and relatable, reminding us that true bravery often appears in the most unexpected situations.  

Reflect on Everyday Courage

To help you explore this aspect of courage, here are some journaling prompts. If journaling isn’t your thing, use these prompts to think on. Dedicate a run, swim, or walk to each, or discuss them with a friend. 

  1. When have you had to step up, even when you didn’t want to, because you were dedicated to a person or a cause?
  2. Has there been a time you’ve stayed the course with an open heart, even if someone wasn’t on the same page as you? How did you handle it? Did you create a bridge or allow for that gap without letting it stop you from connecting? How?
  3. What did you learn from those experiences about yourself? Take time to think about this. Write down a few experiences on one side of the page and leave room for what you learned on the other side. Let this sit with you and return to the page over the next day or two as thoughts arise. 
  4. What do you need to give yourself credit for that you haven’t? Do you notice any resistance within you to do so? Write about why that might be. Do you encourage others but find it hard to do so for yourself? Remember, if you have love in your heart, you are as deserving of it as others are!

Courage is Staying the Course

Sometimes, we don’t realize how we’re managing difficult situations because we’re just in it, putting one foot in front of the other. It’s only later, with some distance, that we can look back and say, “Wow, I did it!” There’s no perfect way to handle tough times; the point is that you stick with it. Acknowledge yourself for your strength and everyday courage. 

It’s not just okay to do so; it’s life-affirming and essential.

 

“Courage is a long road that’s often not a one-time thing.” — Pam Pacilli-Cooper

 

If you’d like to explore these questions or any others that come up, and want to do so in a safe, confidential way, that’s what I do best. Contact me, and let’s talk!

This is part of a series on Courage that started in July. Read the first,  Courage is a Mindset, and come back for the third in my series of three next month! Join my newsletter so you won’t miss it! I send it monthly, and include that month’s blog post, resources to fill your own well, and more!

Courage is a Mindset: Trust Yourself

Man sitting in Barber shop chair

To listen to this month’s blog, click here.

As a Courage Coach, I tune into the many ways courage shows up around me. I am open, aware, and listening—not just with my clients, but as I go about my day. I’ve learned that everyone has wisdom to share, no matter their background or walk of life. Every person has a story, a unique perspective, and a piece of wisdom to impart.

Inspired by this realization, I decided to start a series on Courage. Over the next three months, I will introduce you to three different individuals, each with their own inspiring and thought-provoking take on courage. They will share how they perceive courage, how they have used it, and how it has transformed their lives for the better. My hope is that their stories will spark your curiosity, get you thinking, and, at best, inspire you to embrace courage in your own life.

In addition to these interviews, I will pair each story with journaling prompts. Even if you don’t journal, these can serve as topics for meditation or meaningful conversations with a trusted friend.

This month, we start with Andrew Hajian, known as Drew, the owner of Impeccable Barber Co., a trusted community barber shop in Norwood, MA. Founded in 2013, Impeccable Barber Co. is a place where you can relax, connect, and receive high-quality service that makes you look and feel your best. I recently visited Drew, and we had an amazing discussion about courage.

To listen to Doris’ interview with Drew, click here.

In our conversation, Drew shared his journey of leaving the corporate world to become a barber and eventually opening his own shop. This leap required a significant shift in mindset, trusting his instincts, and believing in his abilities. His story resonated with me, reminding me of my own big leap when I decided to leave the corporation I was working at to pursue a new direction. At the time, I wasn’t 100% sure of my path, but I trusted the inner signs that told me I needed to make a change. And with each step I took, the next step became clearer.

Reflective Questions

I encourage you to journal, think about or talk to someone about whatever thoughts or questions come up naturally for you. Here are some options to get you started. If any speak to you, use them. 

  • What is your definition of courage?
  • Can you think of a few times—or even one—where you demonstrated it?
  • When have you taken a leap? Is there another leap you’re waiting to take?
  • What is something lurking at the edges you’ve been trying to muster up the courage to do?
  • When was the last time you asked yourself, “What do I want?”
  • What kind of mindset do you need to get started?

You might think—or others may say—that you’re crazy or taking a risk. Weigh the risks and rewards, and unless the risks are off the charts, trust your instincts. You may feel afraid, but that doesn’t mean you can’t do it! Think through what you need to do to get it done.

The Key to Courage

The key is to believe in yourself, your judgment, and your abilities to make it work. Follow your instincts and listen to your inner compass—that voice from within. Tuning into this natural guidance may take courage, but trust that it will never lead you astray.

Your mindset will help you gain clarity on the specific steps you need to take. What needs to be done will flow from there. If you try to plan before you have the mindset—the decision, the trust in your direction, and the belief—it’s like putting the cart before the horse.

Fear is a reaction, Courage is a decision –Sir Winston Churchill

Courage is a mindset, answering the call, taking that first step, and trusting that the path will unfold as you move forward. Embrace the mindset of courage, and let it guide you toward living your best life.

What is your inner compass telling you? Can you tune in to that voice, separate from all the other influences, and find that one unique call that is your own?  I deeply believe you know the way. And I would like to help you find it, and walk it.  Let’s talk.