Making a Life into a Work of Art: Courage, Discernment, and Leadership Transition

To listen to this month’s blog, click here.

There is a point in every creative process when you have to stop trying to make something happen and begin paying attention to what is already emerging. A painting reveals itself through color, texture, light, and form. A piece of music develops through listening as much as playing. A life is no different. The choices you make, the relationships you nurture, the work you pursue, the risks you take and the spaces you leave open are not separate from the work. They are the composition.

Throughout this year, we have been exploring what happens when you slow down enough to listen, discern what matters, release what no longer fits, and trust yourself enough to move forward. In When the Work Changes You: From Practice to Personal Transformation, we explored the moment when courage, creativity, and reflection stop being practices you reach for and begin becoming ways of being. This month carries that arc from transformation into creation: if July asked how the work changes you, September asks what you will create from the person you are becoming.

The Courage to Create What Comes Next in Liminal Space

When we think about creativity, we often think about producing something: a painting, a book, a business, a new idea. But creativity begins much earlier than the finished product; it begins with noticing. Earlier this year, in Listening Before Knowing: Discernment in Liminal Space, we explored what it means to listen before knowing—to resist the pressure to immediately find an answer and instead allow discernment to emerge through deeper attention. That practice of listening becomes particularly important when we begin creating something new. What catches your attention? What stirs your curiosity? What keeps returning to your mind? What are you drawn toward before you can explain why?

This kind of attention requires slowing down. And slowing down can be surprisingly difficult, particularly for seasoned leaders. You are accustomed to solving, deciding, anticipating, producing. In a leadership transition, there can be enormous pressure to know what comes next, to have a plan, articulate the vision, and move. But sometimes the next chapter does not begin with a plan—it begins with attention.

This is where creativity and discernment meet. It is also where adult development becomes visible. As you grow into new stages of life and leadership, the answers that once served you may no longer be sufficient. You may find yourself in a familiar kind of liminal space, not because you are lost, but because a more integrated way of leading, choosing, and creating is asking to take shape.

The artist understands this territory. You look. You experiment. You step back and you look again. You make a mark, discover that it doesn’t quite work, and make another. You learn to tolerate the unfinished. Experience gives you pattern recognition, judgment, and wisdom, but it can also make it tempting to rely on what you already know. Creativity asks something different: the willingness to remain curious when experience does not provide the answer.

In The Creative Act, Rick Rubin writes about creativity as a way of relating to the world—one grounded in attention, receptivity, and openness to what is emerging. His perspective reminds us that creation is not always about forcing something into existence. Sometimes it is about becoming quiet enough to notice what is already trying to emerge.

Julia Cameron’s The Artist’s Way offers another useful lens. Her creative practices are ultimately practices of listening: creating enough space for ideas, intuitions, and possibilities to surface before we judge or organize them.

Both perspectives point toward an idea at the heart of Courage Alchemy™: creation requires you to act before you know exactly what you are creating. That is not simply creative risk. It is the alchemy of courage—transforming uncertainty into movement, attention into choice, and becoming into form. This is where Your Life is a Work of Art™ and Courage Alchemy™ converge.

Your life is not a finished product. It is an evolving composition. You are continually deciding what to bring forward, what to release, what to make room for, and what deserves your attention. Courage allows you to make the next choice before you can see the entire picture. That is not recklessness—it is intentional creation.

This is the movement from theory into practice: discernment becomes embodied when it begins shaping your calendar, your conversations, your commitments, and your willingness to leave some space unfilled.

4 Signs You Are Practicing Creative Authorship

  1. You are more curious than certain.
    You no longer need to have the answer immediately. You find yourself asking better questions, following your curiosity, and allowing something new to reveal itself before deciding what it means.
  2. You notice what gives you energy.
    You begin paying attention to the people, places, ideas, experiences, and work that make you feel more alive. Energy becomes information. What draws you in may be telling you something about what wants to emerge.
  3. You are willing to experiment.
    Instead of treating every decision as permanent, you begin treating some choices as creative experiments. Try it. See what happens. Adjust. Begin again. Not every next step needs to become a five-year plan.
  4. You care more about alignment than appearance.
    The question shifts from How will this look? to Does this feel true? You become less interested in performing a successful life and more interested in inhabiting one that actually belongs to you.

4 Practices for Embodied Leadership and Creative Discernment

  1. Create space to notice.
    Build small pockets of unstructured time into your week. Take a walk without a podcast. Sit with your coffee before reaching for your phone. Visit a museum. Spend time in nature. Creative reflection practices often begin by giving your attention somewhere new to go.
  2. Follow what interests you.
    You do not need to justify every curiosity with a strategic purpose. Read the book. Take the class. Explore the neighborhood. Pick up the paintbrush. Curiosity is not necessarily a distraction from your work or your life. It may be pointing toward the next version of both.
  3. Create before you evaluate.
    Whether you are developing a strategy, writing, leading a team, making art, or imagining your next chapter, resist the urge to judge too early. Creation and evaluation are different activities. Give an idea enough room to breathe before deciding whether it is good enough.
  4. Step back and look at the whole composition.
    Every so often, create enough distance to see your life as a whole. What belongs? What feels out of proportion? Where is there too much? Where is there not enough? What needs to be added, removed, rearranged, or given more room?

This is one reason retreats, sabbaticals, creative practices, and intentional pauses can be so valuable during a leadership transition. Distance can reveal what proximity obscures.

Journal Prompts for Reflection

  • Where have I been moving too quickly to notice what is emerging?
  • What am I curious about right now, even if I cannot yet explain why?
  • Where in my life am I choosing certainty when experimentation might serve me better?
  • What would I create differently if I stopped worrying about how it would be perceived?
  • What parts of my life feel vibrant, beautiful, or deeply alive—and what might they be teaching me?
  • If my life were a work of art, what would I want to add, remove, rearrange, or make more visible?

 

You do not need to see the whole picture to create the next beautiful thing.

 

The Art of Becoming: Adult Development as Creative Authorship

Perhaps this is what transformation ultimately asks of us: not to become someone entirely new, but to become more intentional about what we are creating with the life we already have. Earlier this year, in The Identity Shift: Outgrowing the Person Who Got You Here, we explored what happens when the identity that brought you this far no longer fits the person you are becoming. That work of releasing old roles and making room for a more authentic self was not an ending. It was preparation.

Now the invitation is to bring that emerging identity into the larger canvas of your life—to decide what you want to create from here. This is the deeper movement from transformation to authorship. Your life is a work of art, not because it is perfect, polished, or beautiful all the time, but because it is still in process. There are unfinished places. Unexpected colors. Erasures and revisions. Moments of brilliance you could never have planned.

And that is the point. You are both the artist and the work in progress. If you are navigating a leadership transition, a season of personal growth, or the quiet recognition that the life that once fit you no longer does, coaching can offer a place to slow down and see the larger composition. Together, we can listen for what your discernment is telling you, what courage is asking of you, and what wants to be created next. You do not need the whole picture before you begin. Sometimes the next brushstroke is enough.

Visible at Last: The Art of Living Unapologetically

To listen to this month’s blog, click here.

There comes a point in every transformation where the inner work begins asking to be seen. Not performed. Not marketed, or polished into something more digestible for other people’s comfort. Seen.

April invited us into becoming, the quiet courage required to move before certainty arrived. We explored the invisible stage of transformation, where identity begins shifting beneath the surface long before external results appear. In May, we confronted the deeper recalibration required for reinvention. We examined how many accomplished people continue operating from outdated internal identities—the achiever, the fixer, the caretaker, the over-functioner—even while longing for expansion.

And now June arrives carrying early summer light. Exposure. Radiance. Embodiment. This season asks a different question: What happens when you stop editing yourself to fit the expectations of the rooms you’ve outgrown? Because eventually, transformation stops being internal. What begins quietly in the liminal space of reinvention eventually asks to be lived out loud.

The Hidden Exhaustion of Self-Editing and Over-Performance

Many high-capacity professionals have spent years mastering adaptation. They know how to read the room. They know how to soften their truth, or how to become strategically agreeable. How to shape-shift into what leadership, family systems, corporate culture, or social expectations rewarded.

At first, these adaptations may have been necessary. They helped create success, safety, belonging, and influence. But over time, constant self-editing creates a subtle fracture. You begin performing versions of yourself rather than inhabiting yourself. This is especially true during periods of reinvention.

You may outwardly say you want more visibility, leadership, creativity, impact or expansion, while internally still negotiating permission to fully occupy your own voice. This tension shows up everywhere:

  • In leadership, where people dilute their authority to avoid being perceived as “too much.”
  • In business, where entrepreneurs hide the most original parts of their message in favor of what feels safer or more marketable.
  • In relationships, where authenticity gets traded for approval.
  • In creativity, where brilliance is postponed until confidence finally arrives.

But confidence is rarely the prerequisite for visibility. Integrity is.

 

Visibility Is Not Ego

One of the greatest misconceptions about living unapologetically is the belief that visibility is inherently self-promotional. It is not. There is a profound difference between visibility rooted in ego and visibility rooted in integrity. Ego says: “Look at me so I can feel significant.” Integrity says: “This is who I am. This is what I carry. And hiding it no longer serves anyone.”

Courage alchemy is about understanding this distinction deeply. Transformation is not about becoming louder. It is about becoming more congruent, more internally aligned. More honest. More embodied. The people we trust most in leadership, business, and life are rarely the most polished people in the room. They are the people whose external presence matches their internal truth.

Psychologist and author James Hollis has written extensively about the emotional cost of living according to inherited expectations rather than one’s deeper truth, arguing that much of adult development involves reclaiming the self beneath performance, conditioning, and approval-seeking. Similarly, organizational psychologist Adam Grant notes in Think Again that people willing to rethink old identities and assumptions tend to navigate transition and reinvention more successfully than those attached to fixed self-concepts. People are no longer drawn only to expertise or image. They are drawn to coherence, to those whose lives, voice, and presence genuinely align.

Why Authentic Visibility Changes Everything

There is a moment in every reinvention journey where the question is no longer: “Who am I becoming?” The question becomes: “Can I allow myself to be visible as that person now?” Not someday when everything is perfected, or after another certification. Not after the fear disappears—now. This is often where people stall, because visibility activates old fears:

  • criticism
  • rejection
  • misunderstanding
  • success
  • envy
  • disappointment
  • expansion itself

And yet avoiding visibility comes with its own cost. You remain over contained. Under expressed. Disconnected from your own vitality. The energy required to constantly manage perception becomes exhausting. Living unapologetically is not about becoming reckless or self-absorbed, it is about ending the chronic negotiation between who you are and who you think you are allowed to be.

4 Ways to Practice Unapologetic Living

1. Notice Where You Still Shrink

Pay attention to the environments where you become smaller, quieter, overly agreeable, or hyper-edited.

  • Where do you instinctively dilute your ideas?
  • Where do you over-explain your decisions?
  • Where are you still asking unconscious permission to take up space?

Awareness is the beginning of reclamation.

2. Stop Waiting to Feel Fully Ready

Readiness is often a moving target. The next version of your life is not built through certainty, it is built through participation. Visibility grows through expression, not perfection. Whether launching a business, stepping into leadership, sharing creative work, or speaking a difficult truth, courageous living requires movement before emotional guarantees arrive.

3. Let Alignment Replace Performance

Many people are exhausted not because they are doing too much, but because they are performing too much. Ask yourself:

  • What feels deeply true right now?
  • What no longer fits?
  • What would leadership look like if it came from alignment rather than image management?

The goal is not to impress people: the goal is to become internally coherent.

4. Allow Yourself to Occupy the Life You’ve Been Building

There is a difference between creating a new life and fully inhabiting it. Many people intellectually understand their transformation long before they emotionally allow themselves to live it. Embodiment requires practice.

  • Receiving recognition.
  • Taking up space.
  • Being visible without apology.
  • Allowing your wisdom, creativity, leadership, and presence to be fully expressed.

This is not arrogance. It is integration.

The Season of Embodiment

Spring begins underground. But eventually, everything designed for growth reaches toward light. That is the nature of transformation: not endless preparation or perpetual inner work, and not remaining hidden in the safety of potential. Expression. Embodiment. Visibility. And perhaps this is the deeper invitation of June: to stop asking whether you are allowed to become more fully yourself. Instead ask: What becomes possible when you no longer abandon yourself in order to belong?

“The deepest transformation is not becoming someone else. It is becoming visible as who you were all along.”

An Invitation from the Courage Alchemist

As we move into this next season together, perhaps the question is not whether you are ready to be seen. Perhaps the deeper question is: What part of you is ready to stop hiding? Reinvention asks all of us, at some point, to choose between maintaining an old performance and inhabiting a more honest life. If you find yourself standing in that threshold space between who you’ve been and who you are becoming, I invite you to reach out. This is the work of Courage Alchemy, transforming fear into forward motion, and helping people live with greater alignment, embodiment, and truth.

The Power of Reflection: Learning from Your Own Creative Process

To listen to this month’s blog, click here.

Artists know this truth: progress doesn’t happen only when the brush is moving nonstop across the canvas. It happens in the pause, when you step back, tilt your head, and ask: Is this working? Where does it need more light? What is ready to be left alone?

That same practice is essential for leaders, professionals, and anyone seeking personal growth. In executive coaching, reflection is what transforms experience into wisdom. Without it, we risk moving forward without clarity. With it, we align our actions with our deeper values, and that alignment is the foundation of authentic leadership and a meaningful life.

As Peter Drucker wrote in Managing Oneself, “Follow effective action with quiet reflection. From the quiet reflection will come even more effective action.” Reflection isn’t a luxury; it’s a leadership tool, a mindfulness practice, and a creative act all rolled into one.

Why Reflection is Essential for Personal Growth and Leadership Development

This year, we’ve explored courage, resilience, and vision as the pillars of meaningful growth. In Level Up: How Courage Fuels Your Growth, I wrote about the bravery required to step into a bigger version of yourself. But courage alone isn’t enough. Without reflection, that “bigger self” can become louder or busier without being wiser. Reflection is the compass that ensures your actions are aligned with your values, helping you make intentional choices rather than reacting on autopilot.

In Reframe Failure: Turning Setbacks into Creative Fuel, we explored how mistakes can be raw material for growth. Reflection acts like a kiln, shaping that raw clay into form. It’s the process that transforms challenges, missteps and uncertainties into insight, learning, and creative solutions that can propel your next chapter.

Reflection is also a key driver of resilience. Twyla Tharp, in The Creative Habit, notes that artists who pause to evaluate their work consistently sustain creative momentum and uncover new possibilities. This principle applies beyond art: leaders who take time to reflect regularly gain clarity on what’s working, where adjustment is needed, and how to leverage their strengths.

Leadership research mirrors these findings. Kouzes and Posner, in The Leadership Challenge, emphasize that reflective leaders are more effective at aligning their values with behavior. They build credibility, trust, and influence; not by doing more but by doing with greater awareness and intention. In other words, reflection doesn’t slow you down, it accelerates meaningful growth and creates the foundation for long-term success.

Creative Reflection Practices You Can Try

Here are five practical ways to make reflection a regular part of your life and leadership:

  1. Schedule Reflection Time.
    Treat reflection like an important meeting. Even 10 minutes at the end of each day can help you integrate lessons and reset for tomorrow.
  2. Use Mindfulness as a Starting Point.
    Begin with a few breaths or a body scan to quiet mental noise. Mindfulness helps you listen more deeply to your inner wisdom before diving into self-assessment.
  3. Ask Better Questions.
    Replace self-criticism with curiosity. Instead of “What did I get wrong?” ask, “What did I learn today?”
  4. Experiment with Creative Tools.
    Journaling, sketching, or mind mapping can reveal patterns that words alone may miss. Creative reflection practices bypass the inner critic and spark new insights.
  5. Move from Insight to Action.
    Don’t stop at observation. Ask, what will I carry forward? Integration is where growth becomes transformation.

Journaling Prompts for Reflection and Growth

Use these prompts to spark deeper insight in your personal or professional journey:

  1. When I step back and look at my “canvas” right now—my life, work, or leadership—what stands out as most alive?
  2. What patterns keep repeating, and what wisdom are they offering me?
  3. Where am I holding onto perfection instead of embracing progress?
  4. What in my life or work needs more light, and what is ready to be released?
  5. If I were to honor one key lesson from this season, what would it be?

Harnessing the Power of Reflection

When we take the time to pause, observe and ask meaningful questions, we transform what we’ve lived into what we are capable of becoming. The courage to step back, the curiosity to explore your patterns, and the discipline to integrate your discoveries are the practices that turn both life and work into a true masterpiece.

Reflection is the bridge between experience and insight.

If you’re ready to cultivate greater clarity, mindfulness, and purposeful growth, I invite you to connect with me. Through executive coaching, workshops and retreats, I help professionals and leaders harness the power of reflection to align their actions with their deepest values.

The Duality of Courage: Knowing When to Act and When Not To

What does knowing when to act and when not to have to do with courage?  Typically, courage is often seen as boldness—the willingness to take risks and confront challenges head-on. But for leadership development expert Tammy Dowley-Blackman, founder of Tammy Dowley-Blackman Group, LLC, courage has a deeper, more nuanced meaning. It’s about the duality of knowing not only what you can do but also whether you should do it. This thoughtful approach to courage shapes decisions from childhood through adulthood, influencing both personal growth and professional leadership.

To listen to Doris’ interview with Tammy, click here.

Courage at 10: Trusting What You Can Do

Tammy Dowley-Blackman, a trailblazer in leadership and organizational development, has built her career around helping others realize their potential. From leading nonprofit organizations to being the founding director of the Proteus Fund Diversity Fellowship, her work has driven systemic change across multiple sectors. Her journey, however, was shaped early in life, beginning with a unique experience at just 10 years old that redefined her understanding of independence and courage.

Growing up in a family deeply committed to education, Tammy frequently traveled between New Jersey and the South, where her parents lived separately to provide her with the best schooling options. At 10, an unexpected situation forced Tammy to travel back to New Jersey alone by bus, with a layover in Washington, D.C. Armed only with her mother’s instructions, she successfully navigated the journey, discovering the first part of her definition of courage: “I can figure things out. I can do this.” This experience cemented her belief in her ability to handle challenges, a conviction that has fueled her personal and professional life ever since.

Courage at 30: Knowing When to Refrain

At 30, Tammy faced a new kind of challenge. She was offered a prestigious job with significant financial and career growth potential. However, despite the obvious benefits, Tammy felt uneasy. Accepting the role would have required sacrificing personal balance and values she held dear.

Despite the pressure to accept, Tammy made the courageous decision to say no, trusting her instincts and choosing long-term fulfillment over short-term gain. This decision became a cornerstone of her leadership philosophy: Not every opportunity, no matter how enticing, is worth taking if it means compromising your values.

Evolving Definition of Courage

Through these defining moments, Tammy’s understanding of courage has evolved into a two-part framework: First, recognize what you’re capable of. Second, make thoughtful, value-driven decisions on whether or not you should act. This perspective continues to guide her leadership, mentorship, and visionary work in the philanthropic sector and beyond.

 

The dual definition of courage: understanding what you can do and deciding whether you should do it.

 

Journal Prompts: Exploring the Duality of Courage

  1. Reflect on a childhood experience that taught you about your capabilities. How has this shaped your understanding of courage?
  2. Think of a time when you chose to act—or refrain—from taking an opportunity. What factors influenced your decision, and how did it impact your life?
  3. How do you determine when to act and when not to? What internal and external factors guide your decisions?
  4. What does courage look like in your life today? Identify a current challenge where you’re navigating between action and restraint.

Tammy Dowley-Blackman’s dual definition of courage— understanding what you can do and deciding whether you should do it—is a powerful guide for leaders and individuals alike. Real courage is not just about bold action; it’s about aligning decisions with values, and as Tammy’s journey shows, the most courageous choices often lead to lasting fulfillment and success.

Align Your Actions with Your Values

For support in making courageous, value-driven decisions, feel free to contact me.   Explore more reflections on courage by reading my other posts like Courage is a Mindset, Fueled by Love: Unexpectedly Finding Your Courage and Courage During Uncertainty: A Journey of Resilience and Transformation, Courage as a Catalyst for Personal and Professional Change.  

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Courage as a Catalyst for Personal and Professional Change

Courage as a catalyst for personal and professional change resides in the quiet moments of decision-making when we face the unknown, dive into uncertainty, and go beyond what seems possible. It is a subtler, more profound aspect of courage that often goes unnoticed. This form of courage does not always come with fanfare; instead, it is deeply personal and often transformative.

Insights on Courage and Uncertainty

This month’s reflection on courage features Marcus Sheffer, a collaborator with 7group, which specializes in commercial green building projects, organizational development, and sustainability programs. With more than 35 years of experience, Marcus has consulted on hundreds of green building initiatives, including some of the greenest projects in the world.

For Marcus, courage isn’t just about bold, fearless acts. It’s about the willingness to step into uncertainty, make difficult choices, and stay committed to a path even when the outcome is unclear. In our everyday lives, courage often shows up as the quiet determination to grow, change, and release beliefs or identities that no longer serve us.

To listen to Doris’ interview with Marcus, click here.

Understanding Privilege and Courage

When asked to define courage, Marcus was immediately struck by how infrequently he thought about it—perhaps, he reflected, because his life as a white male meant he didn’t have to call upon it as often as others. He sees courage as intricately tied to privilege, opening up deeper questions about how we perceive and practice courage. True courage, in his view, involves diving into uncertainty and doing what’s right, even when it’s difficult, uncomfortable, or unclear.

Making Promises Beyond Your Abilities

Marcus describes courage as the willingness to make promises to ourselves that we’re unsure we can fulfill. It’s about moving forward into the unknown, committing to something bigger than our current capabilities. This kind of courage requires us to believe in potential beyond what we can see or plan for, trusting that the act of making the promise itself can open new doors. In his experience, personal transformation happens when we step into uncertainty and push beyond our perceived limits.

Courage in Personal Decisions

One of Marcus’ most personal experiences with courage came when he decided to end his 36-year marriage. It wasn’t an easy decision, but he recognized that staying in the marriage was causing him harm, despite his long-held belief in loyalty and commitment. This decision forced him to face uncertainty—leaving behind the home he had built with his family, grieving the loss of what had once been central to his life, and letting go of the identity he had created for himself. This defining moment of courage allowed Marcus to acknowledge that what once seemed best no longer served his well-being, and it took bravery to step into a future filled with unknowns.

Reflecting on Courage and Personal Growth

  1. Reflect on a time when you had to summon courage to face an uncertain situation. How did this experience transform you?
  2. Consider a situation where you were unsure of the outcome. How did you navigate through it, and what did you learn about yourself in the process?
  3. Think about any beliefs or stories you tell yourself that might be limiting your growth. What would it take for you to loosen your grip on these beliefs and step into the unknown?
  4. Identify areas in your life where taking a courageous step could lead to significant personal growth or change. Where do you see the potential for transformation through courage?

Courage is the ability to dive into uncertainty and make promises to yourself beyond what you believe you’re capable of.

 

The Next Step: Leaning into Courage for Transformation

Marcus’ insights remind us that courage is not always about heroic acts or grand gestures. Often, it’s found in the quiet moments when we choose to step into uncertainty, commit to a difficult decision, or let go of long-held beliefs. Courage is about making promises beyond what we think we’re capable of and embracing the journey that unfolds as a result. It’s about recognizing when it’s time to grow, change, and evolve—even when the path is unclear.

The next step is simple but powerful: consider the areas in your life where you’re holding back, and make a promise to yourself to move forward, even if it feels uncertain. Courage doesn’t require us to have all the answers—it simply asks that we say yes to the possibility of something greater.

 Take Action: Support Your Courageous Journey

If you’d like support to move forward with courage, contact me, and let’s talk!  For more reflections on courage read,  Courage is a Mindset, Fueled by Love: Unexpectedly Finding Your Courage and Courage During Uncertainty: A Journey of Resilience and Transformation.  

 

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Fueled by Love: Unexpectedly Finding Your Courage

Welcome back to my summer series on courage, where we dive a little deeper into the ways everyday courage shapes our lives. 

This month I’m sharing insights from Pam Pacilli Cooper, president of Verissima Productions, an award-winning media company that has produced over seventy films and books for individuals, families, and nonprofits, as well as documentaries for public broadcast. She uses her experience as a family systems therapist, researcher, and oral historian to create stories that will benefit future generations. She and her partner, Rob Cooper, are celebrating their twenty-fifth year in business.  

To listen to Doris’ interview with Pam, click here

Pam, a dear friend and colleague, has always been a source of inspiration. For the past couple of years, we meet occasionally to have ‘hallway chats’ — discussions revolving around rethinking our practices, exploring creative interests, and contributing to the world as we transition into the next stages of our lives. These conversations have nudged us towards courageous steps in our personal and professional journeys.

Courage Fueled by Love

In her interview, Pam shares a beautiful insight: Courage isn’t always about grand heroic acts; it’s about being present during the tough moments in everyday life. It’s about being there, fully present, because your love for the person fuels your courage. Pam’s perspective on courage is both profound and relatable, reminding us that true bravery often appears in the most unexpected situations.  

Reflect on Everyday Courage

To help you explore this aspect of courage, here are some journaling prompts. If journaling isn’t your thing, use these prompts to think on. Dedicate a run, swim, or walk to each, or discuss them with a friend. 

  1. When have you had to step up, even when you didn’t want to, because you were dedicated to a person or a cause?
  2. Has there been a time you’ve stayed the course with an open heart, even if someone wasn’t on the same page as you? How did you handle it? Did you create a bridge or allow for that gap without letting it stop you from connecting? How?
  3. What did you learn from those experiences about yourself? Take time to think about this. Write down a few experiences on one side of the page and leave room for what you learned on the other side. Let this sit with you and return to the page over the next day or two as thoughts arise. 
  4. What do you need to give yourself credit for that you haven’t? Do you notice any resistance within you to do so? Write about why that might be. Do you encourage others but find it hard to do so for yourself? Remember, if you have love in your heart, you are as deserving of it as others are!

Courage is Staying the Course

Sometimes, we don’t realize how we’re managing difficult situations because we’re just in it, putting one foot in front of the other. It’s only later, with some distance, that we can look back and say, “Wow, I did it!” There’s no perfect way to handle tough times; the point is that you stick with it. Acknowledge yourself for your strength and everyday courage. 

It’s not just okay to do so; it’s life-affirming and essential.

 

“Courage is a long road that’s often not a one-time thing.” — Pam Pacilli-Cooper

 

If you’d like to explore these questions or any others that come up, and want to do so in a safe, confidential way, that’s what I do best. Contact me, and let’s talk!

This is part of a series on Courage that started in July. Read the first,  Courage is a Mindset, and come back for the third in my series of three next month! Join my newsletter so you won’t miss it! I send it monthly, and include that month’s blog post, resources to fill your own well, and more!

Courage is a Mindset: Trust Yourself

Man sitting in Barber shop chair

To listen to this month’s blog, click here.

As a Courage Coach, I tune into the many ways courage shows up around me. I am open, aware, and listening—not just with my clients, but as I go about my day. I’ve learned that everyone has wisdom to share, no matter their background or walk of life. Every person has a story, a unique perspective, and a piece of wisdom to impart.

Inspired by this realization, I decided to start a series on Courage. Over the next three months, I will introduce you to three different individuals, each with their own inspiring and thought-provoking take on courage. They will share how they perceive courage, how they have used it, and how it has transformed their lives for the better. My hope is that their stories will spark your curiosity, get you thinking, and, at best, inspire you to embrace courage in your own life.

In addition to these interviews, I will pair each story with journaling prompts. Even if you don’t journal, these can serve as topics for meditation or meaningful conversations with a trusted friend.

This month, we start with Andrew Hajian, known as Drew, the owner of Impeccable Barber Co., a trusted community barber shop in Norwood, MA. Founded in 2013, Impeccable Barber Co. is a place where you can relax, connect, and receive high-quality service that makes you look and feel your best. I recently visited Drew, and we had an amazing discussion about courage.

To listen to Doris’ interview with Drew, click here.

In our conversation, Drew shared his journey of leaving the corporate world to become a barber and eventually opening his own shop. This leap required a significant shift in mindset, trusting his instincts, and believing in his abilities. His story resonated with me, reminding me of my own big leap when I decided to leave the corporation I was working at to pursue a new direction. At the time, I wasn’t 100% sure of my path, but I trusted the inner signs that told me I needed to make a change. And with each step I took, the next step became clearer.

Reflective Questions

I encourage you to journal, think about or talk to someone about whatever thoughts or questions come up naturally for you. Here are some options to get you started. If any speak to you, use them. 

  • What is your definition of courage?
  • Can you think of a few times—or even one—where you demonstrated it?
  • When have you taken a leap? Is there another leap you’re waiting to take?
  • What is something lurking at the edges you’ve been trying to muster up the courage to do?
  • When was the last time you asked yourself, “What do I want?”
  • What kind of mindset do you need to get started?

You might think—or others may say—that you’re crazy or taking a risk. Weigh the risks and rewards, and unless the risks are off the charts, trust your instincts. You may feel afraid, but that doesn’t mean you can’t do it! Think through what you need to do to get it done.

The Key to Courage

The key is to believe in yourself, your judgment, and your abilities to make it work. Follow your instincts and listen to your inner compass—that voice from within. Tuning into this natural guidance may take courage, but trust that it will never lead you astray.

Your mindset will help you gain clarity on the specific steps you need to take. What needs to be done will flow from there. If you try to plan before you have the mindset—the decision, the trust in your direction, and the belief—it’s like putting the cart before the horse.

Fear is a reaction, Courage is a decision –Sir Winston Churchill

Courage is a mindset, answering the call, taking that first step, and trusting that the path will unfold as you move forward. Embrace the mindset of courage, and let it guide you toward living your best life.

What is your inner compass telling you? Can you tune in to that voice, separate from all the other influences, and find that one unique call that is your own?  I deeply believe you know the way. And I would like to help you find it, and walk it.  Let’s talk. 

 

Maximizing Brain Power: Tools and Techniques for Optimal Mental States

To listen to this month’s blog, click here.

In last month’s introductory guide to brain waves, we covered the various brain wave frequencies and the nature of each level. This might have created a bit more curiosity and awareness of your states through the day. For example, having read last month’s blog, when you first wake up, you might realize you’re in theta.  This is a good time to start thinking about  positive things before you fully rise, which in turn can set your mood, thoughts and intention for the day.  

We know much about the benefits to our overall health that come from good sleep, plenty of hydration, clean foods, spending time with loved ones, breathing deeply, physical contact with people or animals, etc.. Conversely, we know too much technology and information without breaks, a poor diet, lack of sleep and exercise can create brain fog, problems sleeping or focusing.  Both can affect our state of mind. But what can we do that specifically supports brain wave states? 

Since this is very much a burgeoning field of study, especially in regards to ways individuals may optimize brain wave states, it is intriguing to explore some practices or techniques that can enhance or effect them:

Meditation Practices

Engaging in mindfulness or loving-kindness meditation can influence brainwave patterns, enhancing alpha and theta wave activity for better relaxation and clarity. There are MANY many sources out there. A favorite easy place to start is with Jon Kabat Zinn’s guided 5 or 10 minute meditations. If you’re experienced, you may want to look into someone like Dr. Joe Dispenza’s many videos and articles on meditation and brain waves.

Biofeedback Training

Utilizing equipment to monitor brainwave activity allows for real-time insight, enabling individuals to learn how to control and regulate their brain waves effectively. This article from the Mayo Clinic is a great place to start if you want to learn more.

Focused Breathing

Techniques like diaphragmatic breathing or alternate nostril breathing can shift brainwave activity towards a more relaxed state. There is so much out there, but you can start with Dr. Andrew Weil, a trusted source and teacher.

Neurofeedback Sessions

This approach measures brainwave activity, helping individuals learn to adjust their brainwave patterns for optimal mental states through consistent practice. Read more from this Forbes article.

Music and Binaural Beats

Music can alter brain wave patterns, with rhythmic tunes promoting relaxation or focus. Binaural beats use differing ear tones to sync brain frequencies, aiding in relaxation and mental concentration. You can find many of these from YouTube to Spotify and see what you think. Read this Article from the NIH to learn more.

Sleep Hygiene

Regular sleep schedules, a conducive environment, and avoiding stimulants pre-sleep enhance sleep quality and overall well-being and may boost delta waves so important to real rest and enhanced mental clarity. Neuroscientist Dr.Sanjay Gupta is a great resource for simple, solid information, like this CNN podcast, The Rested Brain.

Nature and Outdoor Activities

Being in nature boosts alpha waves, fostering relaxation. Outdoor activities like forest walks or sitting by a stream can transition the brain from busy beta to calm alpha states.

One thing to remember – it’s not like we are in one brain wave level 100% then another. The brain is so complex and how to work with brain wave levels is simplified here for the sake of the discussion. Regardless, leveraging these tools can enhance daily function and your quality of life overall.

While research is continually developing in this field, integrating these practices into our daily lives can offer a path to engaging our natural brain wave states. There is so much we can do to positively influence our mental states and enhance our well-being and performance, which is a growing need as the world of work and news grows more chaotic. As we continue to learn and experiment with all the tools I write about, guided by our natural inner rhythms, we grow into living more balanced, focused, and fulfilling lives.

 

7 Ways to Regain Your Work Mojo After Time Off

Back to the office after a break but still feeling tired and unfocused? Here’s 7 ways to regain your work mojo after time off!

We’ve all been there: You’ve had a break from work – whether a vacation, lone weekend or a sabbatical, Your intent was to come back refreshed, yet upon your return, you don’t feel the energy or you hoped for. Here you’ll find 7 ways to regain your work mojo after time off. 

Whatever your reasons for feeling anywhere from uninspired to exhausted, don’t discount the deep burnout we have from our society’s habits and trends. We know it well: social media scrolling, blue light exposure, the endless news, continued effects from Covid, and even the pressure to do all the healthy stuff we know so much about now (eating paleo/whole 30/keto/macro, getting enough sleep, mushroom coffee SO MUCH), trying to be mindful and present all through. So even if we take a vacation we can end up not feeling quite rested and walk into work with trepidation. 

According to a recent Harris Poll conducted by Zapier, many leaders resonate with this sentiment, with 87% dreading aspects of returning to work. Topping the list? Settling back into routines, catching up on administrative tasks and team goals, and facing the sea of unread messages. 

As leaders—from team managers to top-tier executives—we don’t just bear the weight of our own tasks but also the expectations and effectiveness of those we lead. So, how can we navigate this return transition with grace and efficiency? Here are some actionable strategies:

  1. Prioritize Personal Well-being

Start your day a little early, giving that morning time solely to you and your own restoration. It could be a session of meditation, journaling, a refreshing workout, or simply savoring a cup of your favorite tea. When you prioritize self-care, you set a positive tone for the day ahead.

  1. Draft a Weekly To-Do List

As you plan your week, ease into your tasks. Differentiate between the immediate necessities and those that can wait. Set only three critical tasks for Day 1, diving into at least one before you tackle emails.  Repeat with your 3 top priorities as the only goal again for Day 2.  Done this way, by Wednesday the mountain you felt you were facing on Monday doesn’t look so high anymore.  Celebrate your progress, no matter how small.

  1. Designate Catch-up Time

Block off periods free from meetings and commitments to catch up undisturbed, especially the first hour or so in the mornings. Turn off notifications and zero in on what needs doing. Such focused time often yields higher productivity.  This is especially good to practice that can make a significant difference in how your day goes. Set your alarm to warn you 15 minutes before the time you blocked out ends so you can wrap up feeling you made solid progress.  

  1. Sync with Your Team

Once you feel grounded, organize a team or staff meeting to ensure everyone is aligned. Their support and/or knowing they are indeed on track, can provide a layer of ease and confidence you need.

  1. Cluster Tasks

Group similar tasks, such as answering emails or attending meetings, to make the most effective use of your time energy. Consider a color-coding system or other organizing methods to help you know what needs to be dealt with and what can definitely wait. When you accomplish a cluster, take a break before going back again fresh.

  1. Reschedule Where Possible

Examine your upcoming schedule – at least in the first week or so. Ask what can be responsibly postponed or canceled without inconveniencing someone else? Then do that. You’d be amazed how even freeing up one slot can offer the breathing space you crave.

  1. Evening Restoration

Dedicate time in the evening for relaxation as you assimilate. If life’s commitments seem too pressing, finding small ways to rejuvenate, even if it’s just a few minutes of mindful breathing in the coziest clothes, or a short evening walk, can be really effective and put you in a much better place for the next day.

Use this experience to prepare for future breaks by building in some buffer time before you return to the office. Creating a free day or two before diving back into work makes a huge difference in how grounded and prepared you feel when Monday comes around. It can be used to get your clothes or food together, or get a head start on sorting emails, planning, and setting priorities. If you don’t have this luxury each time, you can use time while waiting on line, on the plane, waiting to return a rental car, etc… using your Voice Memo or Notes app in your phone to jot down a to-do list, or begin establishing the top 3 priorities, decide what you will do first thing in the morning for YOU, and when you come home the first few nights… These will make a significant infusion of your work mojo upon your return.

In the ever-evolving dynamics of leadership, transitions, and returns can be daunting. But remember, with a blend of self-care, structured planning, and a dash of flexibility, you can find your footing more swiftly.

If these strategies resonate with you and you’re seeking guidance in creating a tailored plan for your transitions—or just need support navigating leadership challenges—reach out to me. Let’s transform your challenges into wins together.

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From Misstep to Mastery: Making the Most of Mistakes

Making the most of mistakes is a foreign concept to many. In our culture, we’re taught shame around mistakes, so they represent something to hide, and to equate with failure and the fear of judgement. 

Failure is not just inevitable; it’s necessary. It’s an integral aspect of the leadership landscape. How you respond to setbacks determines your influence and credibility in the professional realm. Often, our missteps arise from well-intentioned endeavors or sheer persistence. That’s important to remember.  So rather than viewing them as errors, it’s time to reframe our perspective: they are learning moments, packed with the potential to guide us towards better judgment, sharpened skills and more effective action. 

In October, I embark on my 26th year of coaching and consulting, on the heels of a transformative decade working as a lawyer. The journey, though fulfilling, hasn’t been devoid of pitfalls. I’ve stumbled here and there, and made my fair share of mistakes. But with each mishap I discovered an opportunity — a chance to grow, to evolve, and to fortify my toolkit with fresh insights. Each mistake has legitimate potential to make you better. 

Failure is simply the opportunity to begin again; this time more intelligently. —Henry Ford

Mistakes: Lessons in Disguise

See every mistake you make not as a misstep but as an avenue from which to glean wisdom. This is life’s way of course correction, and not a single soul is exempt from it. Keeping a ‘Beginner’s Mind’, a Zen concept that implies looking at every situation with openness and eagerness without preconceptions, is the key to staying rejuvenated and receptive. The true beauty lies in the way you show up, especially when things don’t go as planned.

Learning from Missteps

The real challenge isn’t from making a mistake, but in acknowledging it with grace and honesty. Shed the temptation (or default) to go to shame, and instead, strive to understand what went astray. Such self-awareness, devoid of self-judgment (the key), paves the way for corrective measures. Taking accountability not only prevents recurrences but resonates with strength and dedication, ultimately reinforcing your credibility.

Rebuilding and Restoration

Genuine regret, appropriate to the situation, and an active effort to ameliorate the aftermath of a mistake can rebuild any challenged  bridges or confidence. It’s a testament to your respect for your colleagues and your unwavering commitment to the shared objectives of your clients,  team or organization.

Navigating the Path to Wisdom

The process of introspection – of really sitting down to assess what led to a mistake – is invaluable. Whether you pen down your thoughts or share them with a trusted confidant, this step is the real treasure trove. It helps refine your judgment, attention, and skills. Often, the fear of confronting our mistakes holds us back, but in embracing them, we find relief, clarity, and growth! 

Managing Others’ Mistakes

As leaders, the errors of our teams or clients can weigh us down. But leadership isn’t just about leading; it’s about lifting others when they falter. While it’s natural to feel fatigued by the continual need to address and rectify others’ mistakes, it’s crucial to maintain a balanced perspective. Remember, as a leader, your words, actions, and choices have a big impact.The way you handle others’ mistakes becomes a benchmark, influencing the organizational culture and dynamics.

Your approach to errors, whether yours or others’, creates a ripple effect. Owning up to mistakes, learning from them, and guiding others through theirs solidifies your influence and garners respect from both peers and superiors. More than your achievements, it’s your resilience, adaptability, and honesty in the face of adversity that truly underscores your leadership prowess.

Mistakes are not the antithesis of success but its foundation!. They offer rich insights, propel growth, and mold impeccable leaders. If this resonates with you and you’d like a partner with which to navigate your leadership journey with grace, resilience, and adaptability, don’t hesitate to contact me. Together, we can transform your mistakes into milestones.